Feast or Famine

Don and I have a weird way to grocery shop. We do it separately. He buys the dinners for the week, his lunches and breakfasts. I take care of the staples and things I like to eat. It started right after I had Cash. I joined weight watchers and had to eat on a point budget. It was much easier for me to shop on my own. 

Nothing and I mean nothing gives me rage like the rage I feel when I go to eat something I've purchased and its fucking GONE. For example, the time I caught Don using my $6 peanut butter in his protein shakes. Or when I turned around and he was making my oatmeal. Or when I went to make my $3 box of waffles only to discover he and Cash enjoyed the entire box. 

Now, I said I buy the staples and what I like to eat. I don't have many things that are not to be touched but the cavemen are aware of what's mine. So when I buy myself my expensive peanut butter, I buy the others the cheap shit. I buy the name brand waffles and they get the cardboard Great Value garbage. I usually always buy like that because when my husband with the never ending hunger sees what I've bought 9 out of 10 times he's going for it. This is why my grocery bill is always $150. I figure if I buy him his own he will leave mine the fuck alone. I couldn't be more wrong.

Dons theory is if it's sat untouched for a long period of time he's allowed to have it. No, no, no caveman. Did you pick it out? Did you buy it? Was it in your grocery bag and in your car on the ride home? NO! I find myself starving sometimes and I shouldn't have to because your a vulture. It's become a real problem. I've become desperate. I've considered hiding food under the floor boards. I don't mind sharing but for the love of Betsy there better be more than crumbs when I go to get it! 

Today, Harlow had a bag of fruit snacks. Really good ones too. She ate them all except for a few and she was carrying the bag around. Two fell out so I gave one to her and one to Cash. I took the bag, felt the last one and said who wants it? Then in slow motion I put it in my mouth while both kids and Don watched. Don was in shock. He said "I've never eaten the last of anything on the kids." Well guess what. I just did. It's feast or famine in this bitch and I finally won a round!