The beginning.

Let's start with a background of me.
  
My husband and I have beat the odds and will be married 5 years in October. We have two crazy, maniac children, Cash will be 4 and Harlow will be 2. We are currently working thru the discipline stage. And 8/10 times we fail. However I am content with this fraction once I go in public and see the parents that lose every time. Harlow is a girly girl who likes purses, makeup, and nail polish but she can keep right up with her brother when it comes to trains and superheroes. She's super sweet, when she feels like it, and uses her cuteness against me all the time. Cash, Cash, Cash. This kid is cut from a different cloth. He is mouthy, bossy, loud, demanding, extremely OCD yet when he wants something he's the biggest lover. The things that come out of his mouth are hysterical and horrifying. Like the time he told daycare that he needed breakfast because mommy doesn't feed them. He has no fear ex: the time he climbed the roof with my dad. He eats the same shit every day. Every damn day. He's about that snack life not the meal life. He's witty, smart and he's turning out to be quite the rap enthusiast.

I'm not your normal PTA mom. Coffee runs through my veins, I swear like a fucking trucker, I have many tattoos and the oddest form of OCD you'll ever read about. We'll get to the flaw later. 

 My days begin with the lovely Cash climbing into my bed and in his sweetest baby voice, "Can I have your phone?" at 630am. I am NOT a morning person by any means and if I haven't had my coffee yet, you better look out. Each kid is fed breakfast, wrestled to get dressed and then out the door to our babysitting destination. There's one rule in my car. We dance. We listen to loud music no matter what time of day and we all sing and dance. It's what we do.  My road rage en route to destination has become so intense my kids will sit in silence once it begins. I don't have time for people to not drive with a purpose. It gives me anxiety. That's a whole new can of cashews and that's going to take me days to explain.

I go to work, pick kids up, have dinner, clean dinner, dole out baths then I sit on the couch and wait for bedtime. Every night. You moms know you do the same thing! Then wake up and repeat day. Becoming a parent is like the movie Ground Hog Day. It's the same routines, the same food, the same clothes, the same conversations, the same people, the same fights, every fucking day. Here and there we throw in a episode where my kids don't make me pull my hair out and actually make me laugh.

 I'll share those moments along with my horrible parenting skills, kiddie meltdowns, and domestic violence episodes (its a joke mom) with you because my life is way better than those Kardashian people.