Cash can fuck shit up like no other. I used to call him Hurricane Cash. Toys have missing pieces, cars have missing tires, sharks have missing heads etc. Today topped the cake. So far.
I was up last night until 2:30am. Rudely woken up by the little shit and forced to shower and partcipate in life. Suddenly the shower stops draining. The water is covering the tops of my feet. I'm pissed. I grab the plunger and get to it. Nothing. Try again, nothing. 20 minutes of mother fucking nothing and the water just keeps rising. I'm generally pretty good at clearing a drain so I'm now fully enraged. Cash comes in, "Whats wrong mommy?" Of course I scream just get out here as I'm butt naked wearing my shower cap trying to now plunge the gurgling toilet. The whole time I'm mimicking, "Amber, papa always said keep draino on hand. Papa always said pour some down the drains every now and then." Finally defeated, I get out. Call my dad to see if he has a snake. Negative. Ask where my papa's is, no one can find it. Commence sleep deprived, anxiety driven, papa who fixed everything missing sadness sobbing. I man up and call the plumber.
I come home around 630pm to Don, my dad and the kids in the living room. Don says "No more toys in the shower. You're son just cost me $80." That little shit lifted the drain cover and put his fucking toy truck down the drain. And didn't tell anyone!!!! He tells my sister how his truck was down the drain and she says "Well how did it get there?"
Cash's response: "I put it there."
The I just fucked something up face. WHAT WHAT.
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